The Romantic Hero..

Women across generations have loved him and have voted for Mr. Darcy as the man they would most like to go on a date with. He is also the fictional character women would most like to invite to a dinner party - which strikes me as odd, as surely Mr Darcy would spend the evening either gazing at the ceiling grunting with boredom or glowering at the guests.

Mr. Darcy is the perfect feminist romantic hero. Mr. Darcy is sexy and compelling because he is a strong and powerful figure and also because he respects the strength and power of Elizabeth Bennet. Despite the fact that Elizabeth Bennet is rather unglamorous (with very embarrassing relatives, looks not quite up to par with her sister’s, and very little wealth), Mr. Darcy sees her true worth. Elizabeth Bennet is Mr. Darcy’s equal in intelligence, wit, sense, and character, and Mr. Darcy loves her for it. The fantasy is to win the utter respect, admiration and passion of a man of great intelligence and great character, especially a man who is not easily won….

The smear on Darcy's character made by Mr. Wickham's misrepresentations are exactly what the emerging middle class (to which Austen belonged) would think abhorrent. The rich are free to do as they please, but the middle class heroines of Jane Austen's novels always reserve the right to judge them by their own standards. Often the very fact that a man belongs to the upper classes can make him fall short of these moral standards - as is the case for Henry Crawford in Mansfield Park.

Gone are the ties to the Grunge Era, when girls swooned for the slightly unshaven, plaid-wearing skaters playing hackly sack in the quad. Now, a man is never more attractive to most women than when standing mildly aloof in his white button-down shirt and prep-school tie, copping his smart-guy attitude.

Here is the rub - Austen leaves us to assume her heroines' marriages are happy despite portraying very few idyllic marriages in the rest of her texts. Also, Austen's deification as a novelist is such that one hardly dares to point out that when it comes to marriage and what goes on behind the bedroom door, she herself had no first-hand experience.

But as modern women with their wealth of relationship experience and all the benefits brought about by feminism, shouldn’t they know better? The fact is dark, smoldering, moody, charismatic, arrogant Darcy types, whom they hate at first sight and later fall in love with, often - particularly after they have married them - turn out to be rigid, dominating and controlling.
What message is this Darcy fixation sending to men? On the one hand, women say they want men who are emotionally intelligent, sensitive, flexible, who enjoy sharing equally and are fun to be with. But these same women are swooning over a fictional character who is the epitome of the dominant patriarchal male. No wonder men are confused.

And as for Gurinder Chadha, she need to revisit Pride and Prejudice again cuz’ I doubt a young Martin Henderson will ever fit as a handsome Mr. Darcy in his early 40’s. I will leave you all with my favorite words by Mr. Darcy, that I doubt any man in the world would ever say:

“My object was to show you by every civility in my power that I was not so mean as to resent the past; and I hoped to obtain your forgiveness, to lessen your ill-opinion, by letting you see that your reproofs had been attended to.”

Emma Woodhouse

'A heroine whom no-one but myself will much like', Jane Austen called her eponymous heroine when she was writing Emma. But I did like Emma, very much, despite her faults of snobbery and vanity. She is an affectionate and patient daughter, a delightful aunt, and a loving friend. But it is the play of her mind that perhaps entrances us most.

I have had just finished reading Emma and must tell you all about the enjoyment that lies in picking up the clues and being amused by Emma's obliviousness to what is going on under her nose. The clues are all there, so well hidden by Jane Austen that they make no impression before the secret is known, and yet so precise that we cannot accuse her of leading us astray.


Though her novels are known for their relatively small scale and controlled emotion, few authors inspire such extremes of feeling as Jane Austen. Emma opens as if it will be a simple narrative about a young woman who is handsome, clever, and rich, but it becomes instead a penetrating study of the human capacity for self-deception, self-knowledge, and love.

Austen never allows us to forget how high the stakes are for marriageable young women, whose only power in this society is consenting to or refusing the men they attract. A woman's social, economic, and emotional future is almost wholly determined by her marriage, as illustrated by the marriages of Mr. Elton and Miss Hawkins, Frank Churchill and Jane Fairfax, and Robert Martin and Harriet Smith. Emma's own development is revealed primarily through her reactions to her romantic prospects.

Emma also illustrates the potential conflicts between an ethical life and society's demands. Emma and Mr. Knightley's marriage unites the two, but the convoluted plot leading to it implies the unlikeliness of such a pairing. The novel suggests that true communication and real connections between people are difficult to achieve. The misunderstandings that drive much of the plot, while superficially comic, also highlight the disasters that can result from miscommunication. To what extent misunderstandings are inevitable and to what extent they result from a society's way of organizing itself is a puzzle that lingers long after we lay the book aside.

Somedays..

Have you ever just wanted to run away to China or Africa? To just disappear for 5 or 7 years? To be involved in a barroom brawl or a Civil War and several near death experiences? I have. It would be a blast! (Assuming that I would survive all sorts of near death experiences in Mongolia, Tibet, and Thailand). Then I would come home with nothing but stories, a Mongolian horseman, and scars (that have their own stories). I would almost never share any of the stories and my friend from Mongolia wouldn't either on account of his tongue being cut out in Bangkok. People wouldn't know or understand the stories, but they would see stories of adventures in my eyes. Also, they would be afraid to wake me because of my quick reflexes and the fact that I would sleep with a knife. That would be cool. Pretty much my dream boils down to people not wanting to wake me because I like sleeping in.

I’m lazy and too busy to write today, publishing this post as someone somewhere in this world wake full of thoughts about me every morning and appreciate the level of effort, I put in each day for her to read something that comes straight from me.

And, for some others, who have lost all ability to reason and make mockery of faith, I nicely ask you to never read me again and enjoy your independent internet access for Ignorant People of Australia somewhere else:)

A natural affinity

Theorists generally conceptualize friendship as a voluntary relationship between equals. This definition of friendship is an abstract conceptualization rather than a description of reality.

Friendships are built in the margins of life. I would even say that people do not fall out of love, they fall out of friendship. Our lives have gotten so busy that we can easily eat up all the margins of free time in our lives and fall out of friendship. And FYI to a bloggist “Orikinla Osinachi”, a holy Bible believer, who found Jesus:) and love and promises to show it to my very sadenned old friend, may remember these words from his favorite Bible, “Woe to those who add house to house and join field to field, until there is no more room, so that you have to live alone in the midst of the land! In my ears the Lord of hosts has sworn, ‘Surely, many houses shall become desolate…”

Looking back at the story of creation, “And God said, ‘Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good and he separated the light from the darkness. God called the light ‘day,’ and the darkness he called ‘night.’ And there was evening, and there was morning – the first day” If you notice God started creation from rest and he brought life forward out of rest, not activity. This is an important point to understand for our lives: the secret of fruitfulness is not adding, but actually pruning.

In reality, we each have a powerful natural inner drive to satisfy a ravenous natural hunger for intimacy of mind with other human beings. This greatly desired intimacy of mind is what we call friendship. But sadly, in this present austere world ruled by its divisive spirit of greed and competition, it is not possible to achieve this intimacy of mind to any worth-while depth with just anybody. The minds of potential friends must from the outset already possess a mutually sympathetic resonance - an inter-personal affinity.

Is a friend really a friend if they punish your for not having the kind of personality they want you to have of them? I, of course, say that such an action is indicative of an absurd person. And if you did the same thing to them, that would make you an asshole -- further proof that we live in a double standard dystopia

Are the rules of friendship written in law, or are they just traditions that have generally been around for centuries? If the later is the case --and I think it is -- then that means I have the right to define friendship by my own terms. And the same sort of thing applies to everybody else. Therefore, whether I'm a good friend or not is completely dependent on context. Unfortunately, my conclusions here very likely will be ignored, and my view of frinedship -- according to many people -- will be defined as sign of my defective personality. And that's why I say Friendship is stupider than ever!

A woman of substance

Being a real woman is an art mostly pleasant, but demanding some skills and knowledge. As we all know, there are no unbeautiful women, there are women who don’t know that they’re beautiful. A woman is only what she makes it of herself. There are some tricks that make a woman the real one, and help her to bear that name proudly. These recommendations aren’t the rules:

1) A woman should always stay calm and relaxed, behaving as if nothing in this world really troubles her(learn from men, they do it with such ease). All the attacks of nerves and hysterics are not for public. You’d better never let them see you cry. Tears have a strong effect on men, but don’t abuse it. A woman knows her worth, but makes everyone believe she’s priceless. Everything she does - she does it with elegance:)

2) Values the cultivation of her mind and diligently seeks after wisdom and knowledge. Does not wallow in self-pity or make a habit of voicing complaints, but radiates cheerfulness and joy:)

3) Gains the respect of those around her:) Encourages and builds up those around her instead of criticizing and tearing them down.

4) Does not have a nagging, contentious or manipulative manner in which she deals with others in a desperate attempt to be known and be right. Portrays chastity, modesty and reverence in her manner, and wears the ornament of a gentle spirit, which is her true beauty.

A woman is a mother, a sister, a teacher, a wife, a mentor. When she is nothing, she is a Bitch:)

San Graal

So, let us begin with the most obvious of all questions: What is the Holy Grail?

The word Graal originates from ancient Mesopotamia, where it was recorded as being the nectar of supreme excellence. It was directly related to the bloodline of kings who descended from the gods - those monarchs who were anointed with the fat of the sacred Messiah (Hebrew for Anointed One). By medieval times in Europe, this line of kingly descent was defined by the French word Sang Real(as per Dan Brown), meaning Blood Royal. This was the Blood Royal of Judah - the line of King David which progressed to the family of Jesus.


Ironically, San Graal' is actually Celtic, not French, but Dan Brown has mischievously re-translated it as 'Sang Real', Royal Blood, in order to make Mary Magdalene the bearer of a supposed child of Christ, hence a vessel of the royal blood, thereby her becoming the 'Holy Grail'.

Dan Brown has created a modern day Grail quest, and in doing so has revitalized and to some extent reinvented an ancient literary tradition. The 'Holy Grail' arguments are based on mistranslations that lead to faulty interpretations. Admittedly, Grail quests have always been popular, but never this popular. What has Dan Brown done that is so different? How can the hunt for the Grail be so fascinating to people living in the Internet Age?

The answer is fundamental to the novel, to history and to Christian religion, for it concerns the meaning of the word ‘Grail’. Medieval Grail manuscripts used the word ‘Sangraal’, which was later split into ‘San Graal’, meaning Holy Grail. But the authors of one of the books that influenced Dan Brown, The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail, suggested that perhaps the word had been split in the wrong place. If instead of ‘San Graal’ the split is changed to make ‘Sang Raal’ then the meaning changes to ‘Royal Blood’. Therefore the quest for the Holy Grail changes from a relatively meaningless hunt for a chalice artifact to a search for a holy bloodline – the bloodline of Jesus.

BTW, as for Dan Brown, the last supper has no vessel that Jesus drank wine from and the V between Jesus and Mary is just a dramatic effect in the painting. It is silly to consider it the code for vomb aka womb lol, thereby making her the Holy Grail.

I'm a good soul?

When one considers the problem of peace, immediately we think of its opposites, aggression and war. It is a cornerstone dilemma of many generations: What are the roots of violence? What are the reasons for human impatience and cruelty? What is the way to protect ourselves from violence and preserve peace? Is peace an unfulfilled dream of humanity? We regard beauty and art as the most powerful mediums in the process of mutual understanding of different nations and their peaceful coexistence. In the past noble and lofty ideas of art and beauty were considered idealistic, superficial and abstract conceptions. In this reality all our present achievements, innovations and progress look meaningless unless we approach the real understanding of peace.

‘For man intellectually developed, mighty in scientific knowledge and the mastery of gross and subtle nature, using the elements as his servants and the world as his footstool, but undeveloped in heart and spirit, becomes only an inferior kind of demon, using the power of a demigod to satisfy animal nature’.

It was never said, ‘the hand kills not, but the thought’. Isn’t it true that the idea of killing another living being is already its potential realization? As a matter of fact a war is not outward disaster, it is an expression of ignorance and of the absolute absence of the culture of the heart. The continuous process of man’s isolation from nature, increasing of emotional, personal gaps between people, the loss of cultural and spiritual values of past generations, have reduced the capacity of man in sensitiveness and receptivity. He misses the sense of beauty of being (existence), no more does he consider himself a part of infinite creation.

From childhood the sense of unity is a natural feeling for man, there is need, thirst in a child for communication and friendship with the outer world. Slowly his mind impresses on its screen all prejudices, conventional divisions: political, social, religious, national, domestic, all the atavisms of society, he becomes a certain screw in a grandiose machine. In hierarchy, where people are separated between one’s people and strangers, rich and poor, etc., a man completely loses feelings of community and identity with his environment. The serene world of his childhood is revealed to him as strange and hostile.

As the saying goes” satya na jaane, shiv ko na maana, sunder na pehchana’, there is always difference between likeness and truth. ‘Likeness could be obtained by shapes and taste without spirit, but when Truth is reached, spirit and substance are both fully expressed. I have had heard people often calling them as good. What is Goodness? What is auspiciousness? Do we understand goodness or we identify it with our own measures within our interests? We hardly notice if the goodness is true or false because it’s always beautiful just as beauty may reflect truth or not, but is always good:)

Finally, I believe humanity is born from one set of parents. We are a family and we live in one home. It is in our interest try and put our differences aside and preserve this beautiful planet of ours. The underpinning to everything is the spirit. And the spirit manifests itself as the universe and all living things. Living things are clearer manifestation of the spirit and mankind is seen as the most transparent manifestation of the spirit. Hence reverence for the life becomes the central tenet of HUMANISM and is referred to as: Non-injury to any living form.

Satya jeet hey, ankur mein shiv, sundar phool hazaaran
Daya karo prabhu ho na kalankit, yeh vardaan tumahara

No teacher betters her in any slot.

Mother may I
throw food around
because I am contrary as an infant?

Mother may I
play in the mud
because I like when you have to bathe me?

Mother may I
eat all the cookies
just because they taste so yummy?

Mother may I
draw on the walls
because I like your attention?

Mother may I
not do my homework
because I want to grow up faster?

Mother may I
stay out all night
because I feel like I'm suffocating at home?

Mother may I
borrow the car
so my friends and I can get high on the bridge?

Mother may I
take the TV
because I'll need something to do at college?

Mother may I
borrow some money
because I spent all of mine on the raised cigarette tax?

Mother may I
take you for granted
because I don't know any better?

Mother may I
cry in your arms
because I finally know what it feels like to be used?

Mother may I
come home to you
because I still love you more than anything?

Mother may I
have another cookie
because now I know to ask?

Mother may I
take your advice
because I want to know if she's right for me?

Mother may I
fall in love
because I want to be whole?

Mother may I
have your grandchild
because I want her to be just like you?

Mother may I
give her your name
because she's just as beautiful to me as you are?

Mother may I
love you forever
because you are my loving mother and never gave up on me?

Eat to Live, Don't Live to Eat!

This thread is to discuss different dimensions and theories of spirituality (NOT RELIGION) and how should we go defining our do’s and don’ts. Religion is just a medium through which ways to spirituality are conveyed.


Live & Let Live!

I am sure you all have read in your Junior High that life runs on solar energy, which drives the process of photosynthesis in plants. When animals eat plants they are converting the energy in order to build and maintain their bodies and to walk, run, swim. Yet because the conversion process is relatively inefficient, the amount of animal matter on the surface of Earth is only a tiny fraction of the amount of plant matter. Therefore, the amount of animal matter that comes in the form of predators is very small compared to the amount of matter that comes in the form of prey (So, you can stop worrying about animals spamming the earth if you don’t eat them, keshi and if you are worried this much, you may want to think again and move on to eating humans as humans have dramatically increased our numbers:)

and FYI:

Animals are not fetched from forests but rather raised in factory farms to meet the demand of meat-eaters, where many are overcrowded or trapped in cages or pens. They are fed hormones and antibiotics to make them grow faster. Chickens are debeaked so they don't peck each other to death living in overcrowded conditions. Veal calves are fed on a diet of powdered milk, in order to keep their flesh white and bloodless. They are chained to pens, not allowed to turn around for their entire lives, then trucked to the slaughterhouse to die. While the practice of feeding cows back to cows has been curtailed, in response to the outbreak of Mad Cow disease, pigs are still fed to pigs. The pigs may have a similar disease, but are slaughtered too soon for them to develop symptoms. The gruesome slaughter of animals is the most compelling reason why everyone should stop eating meat. The process resembles the Nazi holocaust. Chickens are electrically stunned and hung upside-down on hooks: a butcher cuts their throats. Pigs and cows are killed with captive bolt pistols. They are hung upside down while a butcher jabs his knife into the jugular vein. Blood gushes out onto the floor while the animals twitch. The butcher cuts off the heads and peels off the skins, then jabs his knife into the abdominal area to allow the animal's guts to fall out onto the floor. "If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian."

Many of us hope to see humanity progress beyond the way of violence and domination and toward the way of peace. I believe a crucial first step toward peace and sustainability is overcoming the mistaken notions of happiness through material accumulation and peace through strength. Happiness has more to do with positive social relations, optimism, self-esteem, good health, sufficient sleep, and having a sense that one's life is meaningful. In turn, our lives are meaningful to the extent that we actualize our potentials, and the central feature of self-actualizing individuals is devotion to a task or calling beyond themselves. Indeed, people are happiest when engaged in positive social interactions or when helping others. The doctrine of peace through strength has outlived its usefulness. A stable peace can only come when everyone is able to meet his or her basic needs and when everyone feels that they are heard and respected. Global equity is a prerequisite to peace.

In the search for equity, we must examine our own lives. Ultimately, humanity will progress toward the way of peace when the ideals of truth, peace, justice, and sustainability are reflected in our everyday lives. At each meal we make a choice. We choose to be a part of this oppression, and to perpetuate it…or we choose to dissociate ourselves from it, to say--this is wrong and I can no longer be a part of it. Mahatma Gandhi once stated, "The basis of my vegetarianism is not physical, but moral. If anybody said that I should die if I did not take beef-tea or mutton, even under medical advice, I would prefer death." So, the Mahatma Gandhi and the likes have taught us that when we choose to respect life, consistently, at every meal, the choice of peace with all beings can become a part of our identity. Where once we may have been defensive, we can become open to understanding our place in the universe. We can come to accept that we are part of the web of life, and not godlike beings at the center of the universe.

I am a vegetarian, not because of religion, but because I think it’s wrong to kill animals and eat them. We are the intelligent life form. We don’t live in the jungle like Tigers or Lions as displayed lol, so why should we kill animals and eat them like they do? And keshi, you say that you are a strong believer in peace and harmony. Isn't animal killing, brutality, cruelty and death caused by humans for food or sport should be against your beliefs? We have the ability to grow our own food, produce good vegetarian food, so why not? I don’t believe people should kill animals or eat them just because they are hungry. And whoever of you think we have walked past the Barbarics and are civilized, think again cuz’ we are still killing animals for food.

And yes, Keshi, you are right that green vegetables and fruits are also living beings. But that is the minimum karmas we will be doing by eating vegetarian to sustain our lives. Given that the body of non-vegetarian animals contains 10 times more amount of hydrochloric acid than that of vegetarian ones, and that the human body should not be having such a high concentration of hydrochloric acid, it is reasonable to assume that the fact human body is basically meant for a vegetarian diet. Another FYI: When an animal is butchered, the cells in the body stop metabolizing. They decay and release toxins. Before death, (sadly)the animals secrete a lot of hormones due to fear and anxiety, which are deposited in the muscles that are consumed by meat eaters. Many die of heart disease, cancer, diabetes, stroke, and other diseases related to consumption of meat. In countries that eat less meat, fewer people die of such diseases. Human bodies are designed more like those of herbivores than of carnivores. Our teeth are shaped to pulverize grain rather than to tear flesh. Our hands and feet have no claws. Our inability to digest animal fat is one of the biggest indicators that we are not meat-eaters.

"Until we have the courage to recognize cruelty for what it is - whether it's victim is human or animal - we cannot expect things to be much better in this world... We cannot have peace among people whose hearts delight in killing or eating any living creature. By every act that glorifies or even tolerates such moronic delight we set back the progress of humanity."

We shouldn’t live to eat but eat to live.

Put a little Singh in your swing!

Spring doesn't only bring with it warmer weather, allergies and girls in bikinis, it marks the time of the year when I get to my golf clubs out and spend a lot of money and time attempting to solve the sporting world's urgh greatest enigma with other executives from my firm. Let me tell you, I'm not even close to solving the mystery.

I am not very good, but luckily for my manhood, the Lady executives are worse....but not by much and strangely as I tried to put in little Singh in my swing with a Flemish-French Allez!!, I remembered my mother and her phone conversation with some another woman as she bragged about her son being her hero: “Her hero stands straight and tall, and is a reflection of all that is right and good in the world lol. Her hero expends maximum efforts in all his endeavors. He does not always win or stand high on the mountain top waving his standard over the land. Her hero is not conspicuous, he is quiet and shy at times. He is relaxed, with an easy-going manner that wins hearts like a warm spring day after a frosty and forbidding winter. Her hero reflects his loving nature in all manner of seemingly insignificant actions”. So much for your hero, Mom, as I put this shiny new ball on a tree lol or piercing the ground that makes me tingle.

And the distaste for golfing keeps adding to my repertoire when they pack the golf course with so many slow golfers and it takes me at least 30 minutes to finish one golf. It’s like being in a Porsche on the highway surrounded by hundreds of geriatrics in Lincolns. The tingling comes because I know that once I put that ball down, I have another chance to step away from horrible golf to almost decent golf. Teeing the ball up gives me a chance to escape 100 stroke purgatory and into low 90’s mediocrity lol.

That's all that man really wants, a chance to get a little closer to perfection and that is what is appealing about golf to me, the impossible search for perfection.

Romance me up!

Men aren't supposed to like romance, right? Well, that's the theory, anyway. In practice, men may not always like to call it romance (and hence identify ourselves as sissies), but men feel the same yearning to connect that women do, to give and receive physical expressions of love and to continue the rituals of courtship long after our commitment's been cemented.

In short, we want to romance you...and we secretly want you to romance us. But as you're probably well aware, it's within the finer points of love that gender differences rear our ugly heads. When men are asked to define romance, they typically use these words: mystery, intrigue, sensuality, lingerie, passion and neverending sex. A half dozen words - "I'm looking forward to making love" - will get our heart racing. The flowery stuff, the roses and candlelight, just isn't a guy thing. So skip the sweet little trappings and go for what's guaranteed to work, right?........Wrong!!

I think romance involves a quest, a quest for self-actualization. Until a man finds out who he is and what he needs from life, he can't really connect to another person as an equal. So, a relationship of great romance makes a man coming to his strength and fullness as a human being, and part of the reward for the fulfillment of that quest is a strong, equal life partner and perhaps it works the same for the woman? The old "I can't live without you" always seemed so weak to me. I like the more modern "I can make it without you, but just by existing you enrich my life so much I'll never want to."

One of my homeboy told me the story about how his most romantic moment came when he felt his wife finally understood what he needed in order to relax was a "time out". He works hard, long hours all day, every day, in addition to the child caring duties associated recently. Although this may seem to qualify as one of the more bizarre romantic gestures, for Charlie, it was actually what he wanted and even more than he realized he needed to romance him up.

As for me, "Go beyond the ordinary to achieve an extraordinary love", is what romance is. That's how I've imagined myself to be since I've read and heard the legendary love stories in my teen past. Perhaps, I'll live in the real world someday which is not perfect but as for now, I've my virtual, romantic, perfect wallsgreen:)

Inside a Guy's mind

What do guys wish you knew? From the oh-so sweet geeks to the campus gods to the most eligible bachelors around, what exactly do they want you to be down with when it comes to boy-girl relations. My article is full of surprising stuff most of the dudes may agree on and want to share with. Correct me guys or feel free to join in if I have missed out on certain things.

I can't stand makeup. In fact, it seems I can't complain about it enough. Sure, I like pretty girls, but I also have a problem with a face that looks full-on painted. And what looks painted to a guy is far less than what you might think. Why do girls think they need to have so much crap on their faces? I have seen girls wear all this black crap on their eyes, and their lips are, like, thick with brown goop. It's ugly. Do girls really think that will get them a guy? Could natural-looking makeup be the best date makeup? If being hot to guys is your goal, remember that. Otherwise, it's your choice if you want to apply enough purple mascara to impair your vision. Go for it.

When you act spazzy and giggly, its seriously embarrassing. What is up with girls hopping up and down when they're happy about something. A girl definitely invented the word 'yay!' because no guy I know has ever used it. Are you guilty of doing the Gily Woo-hoo! dance? It's a combo of baby claps and bobbing on your toes while emitting high-pitched squeals of delight. This all in reaction to, say, seeing the Italian come in for the lunch lol. I really do want to know why are girls so excited about normal stuff. Every other thing, it's like, 'Ohmigosh! No way!’ Is it just me or every guy agree that girls could mellow out a little. Let's have a round of baby-claps for that, please. lol

Yes!!! Guys worry about what you think of their hair, skin, weight and clothes. Men are the new vanity victims, and how they stress on their looks as much or more than women. But, if a guy suffers vanity, he doesn't talk about it--at least, not to girls and not as much as girls. Guys totally think about their appearance even if they don't say it out loud.

PMS is no excuse to be mean. I know girls get weird at 'that time of the month,' but I don't get why they have to act like I'm their worst enemy. So, you're pained? Look, face it--the hormones that go with menstruating affect moods and, yeah, sometimes make a girl mean as a hungry dog. But barking at a guy because you don't feel well? Just deal the best you can by taking care of yourself.

Talking about your "big" butt is so boring. Guys do not want to listen to a girl's insecurities about her body. True, some guys have issues with what a girl weighs, but they all have different tastes when it comes to the feminine physique. Some guys like booties like Jennifer Lopez's. Other guys like their girls thin as a fence post. Who cares? You are what you are, so talking about your body is about as interesting as studying the Dead Sea.

Tight clothes look uncomfortable, cheap, and sort of desperate and insecure. I think girls get mixed up because of how people dress on TV. Showing a lot of skin in super-tight clothes just says to everyone, 'Please look at me!' If you need to wear those kinds of clothes, you're obviously not confident.

Most guys are looking for the right girl. One thing that is abundantly clear is that guys think girls are way too into finding a BF. "Do girls want any guy or the right guy?" Sending signals is good because some guys are shy just as some girls are shy. But check to see if you and your girls are overdoing it. Do you constantly discuss guys? Is who-likes-who the topic du jour, every jour? If so, pull back a bit, at least around the guys. This way they'll be able to see what's really important to you: umm, makeup (lol).

If you like him, just tell him. Maybe the flirting thing is to girls what the phone is to guys: You're just flirting to feel him out, and it doesn't have to mean anything heavy. We get that. If you like me, just tell me. If you don't, say you're not into me like that, OK, just telling a guy you like him isn't as easy as it sounds. But all the guys may agree on this one, which means it should work. Courage to be honest? You can do it:)

The mystery woman

Larger than life, Los Angeles, the proud Hollywood town, the happening Sunset Boulevard, four handsome single guys around to commiserate and celebrate the Friday night out and a thunder somewhere down under, dancing to her favorite tunes..” it’s raining Men, hallelujah”. lol.

One of the most common activities to do at Sunset Blvd. is to go to a strip club and enjoy some good ‘ole entertainment with your friends. To me, a strip club is no more than a place where girls go to work and make money, just like any other job, even though it involves taking off their clothes, and lap dancing! And so, we decided to go to Xotica at Hysken – a strange street name crossing Sunset Blvd. I’m not sure where the name came from but it sounds German, although that is unjust to Germans, for it would then be called “Hauschen” not “Hysken”. Hauschen means a little house.

You see many sexy women who go around collecting tip money in Xotica. Like in real life, the women flock around guys who flash lots of green bags. Obviously, my smile and charms doesn’t work here but who cares about trying to impress them. They are already naked :). I see my friend suffer this severe pain in his heart, he hates the bar rule” they touch you, you touch them not”. Touching will have the bouncers break your arms and throw you out lol. I find my other friend busy keeping all entertainment off of his lap until he finds the one who he is attracted to, unaware of the fact, she may fool him into giving dances but he has no chance.

And then, there’s this stripper who is more in control than the others, perhaps a man hater, who unfortunately has been abused in the recent or distant past and is taking her aggression out on males at the club. And this other girl, she is a real flirtsey and act like you are special. She keep inviting every guy back for another night saying what time she gets to the club and hope to see him there. She is definitely a veteran and prays on guys and will try and make as much money off of you as possible.

And I called them “Do you want a dance” girls. They are my favorites. You can see these strippers coming from a mile away since they ask everyone and their father around you if they want to dance before they get to you.lol. They are either a clueless women or the one that really doesn’t care about rejection or who they dance with. And, there are girls who hang out in pairs and work the audience together. I named them the Siamese twins. They will either ask one guy if they want a dance as a threesome or find a group of guys (like in a bachelor party) and work the group together. They seem to be interested in competing for who can make the most and are most likely not interested in hanging out with the guys after.

As my friends were busy getting a lap dance and I, judging these different women and drinking lemon cold Heineken, my eyes stumbled upon this girl who didn’t seem to have many friends. She was selective, walking around, getting a drink and sitting with others to talk, not always trying to find another poor soul looking for some lap. I saw her sitting with this guy for a long stretch of time having a nice conversation about things other than body parts and sexual positions before the idea of getting a dance came up. And when she left, she asked the guy that she is coming back if he wants her to.

"She may have moved to Los Angeles from a small town, is just starting out her career and needs more money, is a single mom needing to pay her bills or just someone who does not mind offering nude entertainment".

After a while of clowning around and getting to know these girls, I left Xotica with this thought of the mystery stripper.

I love you

My dear darling of my heart, my precious stone, my highest and most precious, my virtues, my merits, my hope, the forgiveness of my sins, my future sanctity, how I love you!

To be with the people one loves, said Sir La Bruyere, is enough-- to dream you are speaking to them, thinking of them, thinking of the most indifferent things, but by their side..nothing else matter.

O mon amie, how true that is! and it is also true that when one acquires such a habit, it becomes a necessary part of one's existance. Alas! I well know, I should know too well, since the past few weeks that I sigh, far away from thee, that I possess thee not, that my happiness has departed. However, when every morning I wake up, I look for thee, it seems to me that half of myself is missing and that is too true.

Many times during the day, I ask myself where you are; judge how strong the illusion is, and how cruel it is to see it vanish. when I go to bed, I do not fail to make room for you. This movement is mechanical, these thoughts are involuntary. Ah! how one accustoms oneself to happiness. One only knows it well when one has lost it. I cannot be healed, my dear; I have enough in my heart to love always, and, because of that, enough to weep always.

It seems to me, to myself, that no man has ever before to any woman what you are to me. How shall I ever prove to you what my heart is to you? How will you ever see it as I feel it? I ask myself in vain. I am as comfortless as a pilgrim with peas in his shoes- and as cold as charity, chastity or any other virtue.

My heart is full of so many things to say to you-ah- there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all.

I'll leave you now, yet, remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours
The Gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be.

All My Love